2 more days and a new year shall begin (:

Wow!!!!! Time really seems to pass quickly when you're having fun (:
Haha, I just received Christmas cards from Eechen, Olivia and Teanna (: WOW!!!!! thanks girls (: for sending me such lovely cards (:

hmmm, tomorrow's a new day. A new chapter in life. (: Wonder what it has installed for me. Some people say: yesterday was today's past. Today is a new gift. And tomorrow, a mystery (:
What tomorrow has installed for me shall be the biggest surprise of my life. Thinking back on this year, I realized many things have happened. Both good and bad. I really want to take this blog entry to really thank all the people that really care for me. (: Bringing me through my darkest times, encouraging me at my weakest moments in life. Yet, I cant seem to find any way to thank them. so.... THANK YOU ALL OF YOU GUYS.

After next year, there will be times when I will look back on this glorious day and remember of all those people who are not with me.

Brian- Wow!!!! ^^ 6 years liao. Cant seem to forget that fact. Until now, I still cant recall how we seem to meet. But it has been a blessing to go through 6 years of my youth with you. Haha, we might quarrel at some point in our lives but i really will miss your random jokes in the future.

Teng- Hey, you're 16 now. Finally. ^^ well, unlike Brian, I kinda only knew you for 2 years. But in this 2 years, you seem to be an indisposable part in my life. (: you still encourage me and bear with my attitude. You seem to be one of the best guys i have ever known.

Lionel- Qi Qi Or Or!!!!! HAHA. So long since I last saw you. How have you been? (: hmmm, in this 2 years, I occasionally take bus back with you. (: You help me when I am down. Cheer me up with your insanity. HAHA. Must go gym together hor. Dun pangseh me hor. X_X

Lik Zhing- Great NCC pal. Known you for about 2 and a half years.... I think (: Hmm, you might be quite an irritating guy at some times but you still never fail to make me laugh. (: You seem to be the kind of person who is socialable. (: You are easy-going (KFC)!!!!! LOL. So ya, dun forget me k (:

Daniel- The man with no life. How's maple? Level? Aiyo, dont play too much sia. Waste money and time. Its about time you quitted. (: HAHA. You rock man. hmmm, might miss your crazy actions and weird "habits". But there is one thing i will never forget about you- your tolerance.

Eechen- *Godma. HAHA. Though I do not know you for so long like the rest, I know you are a nice person. Very nice. HEHE!!!! Haha, will never forget something about you: SILLY!!!!! BTW, you have been an awesome-ness partner and friend to me (:

Olivia- *MUM (: HAHA, like eechen, I have not known you for a long time but you are GREAT!!!!! Cant find a better "fake" Mum. (: Like I said to you, who ever is your children in the future, is really blessed (:

Teanna- *Cake buddy. HAHA. Only both of us in the first batch did cake right? (: Received your christmas card (: thanks for the effort you put in. (: Will cherish it (:

SiJia- HELLO!!!!!! HAHA!!!!! Your presence impacted me a lot. (: Though short, your characteristics speak likewise. (this is not an insult.) (: HAHA. Must not forget about me k (:

YingTing- YO!!!!! I dont really know you quite well but one thing is for sure: YOU ROCK!!!!! Cant say much about you though (dun be sad) But you helped me a lot for these past 2 years. I thank you for that (:

HAHA..... For now, I shall stop here. Will continue with the others some other day k? (: not that you guys are not important. Its just that I am running out of time. ^^ Need to work tomorrow (: HAHA SO SORRY !!!!!!!!!!!

Entry END (:

What's wrong with my life?? First, All downs. Then, a bit up. Now, down til rock bottom. Cant help feeling emo. Dunno why also. Dun ask me. I, myself, have no idea why i will start feeling down all of a sudden. Must be some kind of thought triggered this. Anyone who studys psychology, pls help me. I can t take this anymore. X_X

This Entry is posted for GOD. So if you dun want to read bout it, don't....


Wonderful today. It shall be one of the most unforgettable days sia. For the past few days, I keep felling emo. Sleepless nights, no appetite, no mood. But today's different.

I am happy again. And now, free........

NO more hais, no more sighs, no more sleepless nights

I am FREE. GOD SAVED ME!!!!!! he managed to comfort me and make me feel better. By placing my woes in him, I feel lighter, worryless. Best time was during praise and worship. I kept singing until I felt a warm feeling in my heart sia. (I'm not joking)

Thanks sia. For those ppl who have encouraged me non-stop, helped me destress, aid me in forgetting. Thanks sia. I will nvr forget about you guys.

HAHAHAHHAHAHA. The old XAVIER'S back. :)

Entry END. =p

Is it time?


Sometimes I will question myself over the things that I have done in my life that makes me regret. During these times, different emotions start to take over, controlling my life, my heart and mind. Sometimes, sorrow, and worst of all, anger.

*hais

It is damn difficult to keep on acting. I know I dun feel well inside, yet I still have to pretend to look fine on the outside. I force myself to smile, laugh, and share the joy with others. Yet, no one really understands how I feel deep in my heart. Confusion, is another factor that messes up my mind. I cant make up my f***ing mind. Cant do anything right. Sometimes, I just hope for someone to share these woes with, someone who can care for me, someone who is willing to listen to me. (:

*hais

When it comes to making these decision, I just hope and pray for just 5 mins. 5 mins will do. Of peace. Just to calm myself and allow me to make my decision. Letting go may be hard, but holding on will hurt me more. Sometimes, I really hope that I can just cover one eye and let it all go, forget about all those unhappy stuff, forget about the burdens, the troubles and problems. But thinking back on it, how?

I tried. Yet, failed.

Entry END.

1 more f***ing day has gone....


Hais..... still not in a very good mood for a good blog entry. These few days has been the worst days for me. Never had any proper sleep, not a meal appealing enough to make me eat.

*sigh

During these days, although I haven't had a good time, I had great friends. Ones who encourage and console me when I was down. Ones who help me by being a great listener. Ones who are willing to share my woes and help to resolve these matters for me. Ones who really care and are concern for me. :) Thanks guys

*Hais

Not in a very good mood. Sorry.

Entry END.

Hais. Sorry I know this isnt a very good way to start a conversation but I am not in a very good mood to talk. Only specific people knows what is going on with my life now. Just dont feel so well today.

Found a very nice quote on the net:Love is a strange emotion. When one thinks of it, a conflicting multitude of thoughts arise. Love is pitiful and marvelous, empowering and parasitic. It is hideous; it is beautiful. It is weak and strong at the same time. Love has started wars, ended wars, caused the depression and death of millions, as well as caused uncountable others to be thrown to the heights of ecstasy. So is love truly such a pure, lovely thing? I think it is a mixture of both. Just as nothing is purely good or evil, so is love.

This really seems meaningful.

*sigh

*sigh

*sigh

Sorry guys. thats all for today. Kind of lost my mood and motive in life. :)

Entry END.

Xavier Huang Zhen Hao
06/06/1992

3D/4D
Brian
Candy
Chun Feng
Ee Chen
Lik Zhing
Huah Yun
Hui Xian
Hui Yee
Sheryl
Si Jia
Teanna
Wilson Teng
Ying Ting
Yuen Chai

The Pretender - Foo Fighters